Cosmopolitan magazine ran an article in the 70’s entitled Will Your Love Last? Five Steps for Lasting Love. Step one was pick the right person. Whoa! How do you know if the person you are with is a good match? Actually, there are several ways you may test love compatibility and find out.
Standardized love compatibility tests are among the methods. These tests have merit for three main reasons. First, they uncover similarities and differences in the values, attitudes, and desires of each partner. Second, they reveal irreconcilable areas of conflict, such as children, or no children, monogamy, or not, and so on. Third, these tests often facilitate open and honest communication between partners, especially when test results reveal significant, relationship threatening conflicts.
Standardized love compatibility tests are based on behavioral research and statistical scoring. They come in both short and long form.
The short type tests love compatibility in broad terms for the purpose of alerting partners to potential relationship conflicts. Another utility is opening communication between partners. The results of short love compatibility tests, however, are not specific enough to support relationship decisions. Short tests are best used an a indicator of the need for further evaluation perhaps with a professional. You will find short tests of love compatibility in many widely circulated media, and, of course, on the internet.
The longer type tests love compatibility comprehensively and yields very specific results. Typically, professional therapists administer these diagnostic compatibility tests to couples who are already heavily invested in their relationship, or in crisis due to fundamental incompatibilities. While revealing, the long type test is often the classic case of too little, too late.
An alternative method to standardized love compatibility testing is Socratic inquiry. By asking great questions you may discover the many dimensions of your partner. If you are willing to share yourself openly in turn, the evidence of compatibility, or incompatibility, emerges. While informal, the Socratic approach both facilitates deeper appreciation and understanding of each other, and develops good communication habits at all levels of intimacy.
Despite the benefits of Socratic inquiry, many couples tend to shy away from asking the questions most likely to reveal incompatibility. If you need help determining great compatibility questions, Michael Webb, widely recognized on Oprah and in high circulation media as an authority on romance, has written a book, 1000 Questions for Couples
For those who are philosophically metaphysical, methods such as Taro, horoscope, numerology, and similar may be used to test love compatibility. These methods, however, place the future of a relationship outside the couple’s decision authority and into the hands of fate. Testing love compatibility when fate is in charge seems somewhat moot, especially if both couples are philosophically in tune. Where one partner is mystical and the other is raw bones practical, however, use of these methods brings to light a fundamental conflict in approach to life which may affect compatibility.
Whatever way you choose to test love compatibility, the best time to test is when your relationship is young, before too much time is invested and after the delusional influence of passion begins to wane. Three to six months is typical for most couples. This is the period when a relationship is in transition from the phase where physical attraction is the main driver to the phase where longer term commitment is under consideration. In the case where one partner transitions sooner than the other, delay any standardized diagnostic relationship testing as it may be counterproductive. Use Socratic Inquiry instead.
Test love compatibility with 1,000 questions.